The Material Girl in Christmas

I was in Ilo-Ilo City for three days last week for a journalism competiton. I had lots of much-anticipated free time so I thought, "Why not do my christmas shopping here?". I was expecting that stuff in Ilo-Ilo are cheaper in price compared to those in my hometown Bacolod. But I was frustratedly wrong. Ilo-Ilo City is more modernized and "economically" better than Bacolod. So prices there are higher, more expensive. [Okay, enough of that. I'm not here to talk about prices and compare cities. Sometimes, or actually most of the time, I get carried away from the topic. :) ]

With a reasonable budget in hand and a good pair of newly-bought sneakers, I set out to hunt for my victims. My companions apparently made a way to ditch me so I had the pleasure of shopping all by myself. It felt.. cool [wow! what an intellegent choice of an adjective]. I was alone in this big unfamiliar shopping mall in a big unacquainted city. I felt independent and a big girl. Hey, i don't need mummy anymore to get my way around.


[I am straining from the topic again] So anyway, I had a hard time shopping. I saw good buys and great deals and I had the money to buy them, but the problem was, my selfishness kept on going in the way, tempting me to shop and buy all for myself. I already had a spend-plan for my budget but the material girl inside of me kept on telling me to splurge on a single thing for no one else but myself.. and myself alone. And silly me, I gave in. I let my insane side win over my sane being.



At the end of the day, I had an irrationally expensive clutch bag, and a handful of remorse.

Similar to that incident is what is happening during the Christmas season. Admit or not, we all become materialistic during the Holidays. All year long, each of us has longed, desired, craved, yearned, whatever you call it, for material things we sadly could not have with a snap of a finger. All year long, we have eyed those pricey and dreamy things, hoping to someday call them "mine". And now that the "gift-giving" season has come, we all have high hopes that we will finally lay our hands on the things on our wish lists.

During noche buena, we become monsters, ripping apart those beautifully wrapped gifts, revealing the objects of our desires and affection. Then we are glad for our material cravings have been satisfied.

Does this scene seem plausible? .. and familiar? Come clean now, fellow. We have all become victims of our material sides.

I'm not anti-gifts, people. In fact, I do love gifts. My heart palpitates whenever I receive one. But what I'm trying to tell you guys is that we become too preoccupied and engrossed to physical things when Christmas season comes. The real reason for this celebration is overshadowed by our materialism. Christmas has become a commercialized season. Sad reality, right?

During Noche Buena, why don't we pause for a while in the middle of the madness and festivity and think back to the real intention behind the season. Let us not forget that above all the Christmas ornaments, all the presents, all the holiday hams.. is the birthday of our Redeemer. Let's greet Him with a thankful heart for all the blessings we unawarely and undeservingly receive from Him is far more worth than a million iPhones or Ferraris in this planet.

Now, that is what CHRISTmas is all about.

Blessed Christmas. [hug]

It about time to GROW UP!

[Whoah! Wordy thoughts ahead! I am not this serious in real life. In fact, I'm kinda quirky and unpredictable like Dee Dee. I seldom get super serious with things.But here, boohoo..I have to be serious. The occasion calls for it. :) ]
After more than a week of schooldays without Nadine, I say I am okay. I am not that depressed or sad anymore. Although I still feel unhappy whenever I see her empty armchair, I am okay. I guess the feeling of missing her will never go away. It will remain in my system and as time goes on.. I will eventually get used to it. We see each other and talk on the phone once in a while. Things are simply changing. And we all know that we can't fight change. It's one of the strongest forces of nature. I am embracing change now. Change happens for a reason.



Today, I want to get a little more personal and share how I really feel towards the recent happenings in my life. Whenever I blog, Its always just about the "first level" of what and how I really feel. Of course, I have to set some boundaries of privacy. After all, anyone can read my blog. But at this moment, I am going beyond that boundary. I want, for the first time, to be completely honest [or almost]. I don't know why. I just want to.

I started this post with a positive outlook towards this change. Yes, I am quite seeing things in a different perspective now.

You see, I've been living in the shadow of my friend Nadine. I was at first oblivious to it, but now the picture is clear. I am always just walking and standing behind her back, following her direction. I am fickle-minded person and I've grown to depend on her decisions. Whatever she decides on is also my decision. Whatever she chooses is also my choice.Whatever way she walks on is also my path. Do you now see the picture? I don't have my own individual identity because I've come to press and push myself with Nadine's. It's like "Nadine can stand with her own self, but Charisse? Naah. She needs Nadine."

So there you go.

One particular instance of living in her shadow is I being the Vice-President and Nadine being the President of our student government. She does all the action while I am just there, ready to do whatever is left. Come to think of it, it is my fault why I have become so dependent of her. I have my own hands, my own feet, my own mind yet I chose to follow and go along with hers. Nadine has nothing to do with this. She maybe even unaware that I was feeling this way all along.

So lads and gents, when Nadine transferred, I was left in awe. It is as if my backbone left my body...No more to support myself. I was greatly affected because now, I am faced with the burden of making my own decisions and simply, doing things all by myself. The worst part is, I'll have to occupy her vacated position as President!

Then and there, I realized that I've been breathing and existing in the shadow of my best friend. This change took the shadow away. My shade has gone and now, I am exposed to the brightness of responsibility and independence. I have been thinking a lot about this and I am sure it will be hard for me. I'm so used to the darkness of the shadow that this new brightness may somewhat blind me.

Nadine moving to another school has given me unfamiliar personal challenges. It will test not only our friendship, but of course, myself as an individual. I will take one step at a time as I create and find my own identity. My stepping stone will be functioning as an effective and reliable President. New power comes new responsibilities...

But with a deep sigh, I shall grow and learn to stand in my own feet!

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Unpredictable

I feel speechless today. I am filled with many emotions yet I am unable to let them out and express them. My posts are usually flavored with spice but perhaps this is going to be my most flavorless blog post ever.

I believe I don't have to flavor or spice up what I should say when It is about something that is really gloomy and heartbreaking.

The unpredictability of life was proven to me when I learned that my best friend, Nadine, is transferring to another school. For you, it may be an ordinary situation. Some of your reactions may go like "So what's the big deal? She is just moving to another school in the same city!" or "Whatever.It's not like she's moving a thousand miles away!". I thought that my initial reaction would be similar to those.. But I was wrong. True, she's moving to another school in the same city. And true, she is not moving 1,000 miles away from me.

But despite having the knowledge of those facts, I cried. I cried.

I feel awful because I know I will miss her so much. Nadine is a big part of my life. It may sound a cliche but it's true. We've known each other since first grade. And over the years, I know a sisterhood has grown and flourished between the two of us. Together, we grew and matured as young adults and discovered the reality of life.

Nadine is my first true friend. I have a bad history when it comes to making and finding friends. Most of them, I don't feel the sense of belonging. But when Nadine and I became close friends, I felt I met my twin. I encountered many once-in-a-lifetime experiences with her.Some only the two of us know.

I'm so used to live and share my life with Nadine. There is just something unique in our friendship that could never be found nor felt with friendships with my other friends. Maybe it is the way how each of us affects and influences another as individuals. Nadine taught me to be brave to take risks and step out of my comfort zone.And in a way, I tamed her "wild side". Perhaps, it is also the way we develop to become better persons in each others company.Back then, we often talked about gossip, complains and teen drama stuff. But I am sure glad that we've grown and our talks became sensible. Our conversations about life, love and everything in between them are moments always remembered and cherished.

Sigh.. I am sure our graduation day will be different not having her around. She will be having all things different. A different diploma, a different shoulder to cry on, a different batch to share her last high school moments with. And I? I will certainly be thinking how sentimental and moving the biggest day of our teenhood could have been If we were together to celebrate it.

Now that she'll be in another school, I don't know if things we'll ever be the same. Change has knocked on our doorsteps and we can't do anything but let it in.

There is a time for everything

I never thought that I'd be facing the keyboard, typing my thoughts again after 3 long months of being dormant.But here I am, alive, kicking and yep, blogging. This obviously means that my period of hibernation is officially over.It's good to be back. Although I'm not quite sure what got into my mind that convinced moi to blog again, it is really good to be back. My absence was brought about by my extreme disorder I call "the blogger's block" and because of it, my bain cells were also damaged. I am still recovering from it actually so pardon me for now. I sort of lost my blogging skills.

The truth is, I didn't blog for almost three months because I simply didnt feel like it. I've attempted to blog again for a couple of times already but I didnt publish what I wrote. Believe it or not, blogging brought me stress. So not blogging for a long time gave me peace of mind. I've read in a magazine that a blogger has a choice whether to update or not.

I am glad that I chose not to update.After all, like my title says, there is a time for everything. When I was "gone", life started to unfold. Once in a lifetime experierences and opportunities crossed my path. New and existing friendships flourished. And the best part of it is that I myself matured emotionally, intelectually and spiritually altogether. Indeed, this moment of my life is a time of discovering and find out what's hidden beneath the lines.

If things had been a tv show, then you have probably missed the best episodes of the show. You have incredibly missed so much. Soooo much.Memories put to words is a complete blah. So let me show ya'll pictures of the goings-on in my life when i was hibernating. Here are the icing on the cake. :)
[i had to resize the pics because the couldn't fit..so they look distorted :C ]

I celebrated the anniversary of my since-nursery-alma-mater for the last time in Septmeber. It was my last and best! It is true that "the best things are saved for last". I developed amity with my schoolmates whom I've never talked to before. The highlight of the week was when the student government officers spent a night in our school. As Vice-president, I got to come! We watched the most disgusting movie in history and partied at midnight.We didn't sleep close to 48 hours!




Even though I didnt have a Crisostomo Ibarra, I came as Maria Clara during our annual Araw ng Lahi. It is a tradition in my school. It is almost like a costume party. Again, it was the cream of the crop!

I have become a "chiller" lately. A chiller [i made this up] is a person who loves to laze about, have a cup of coffee or something and just have a good conversatiion with a friend. A talk is one of the best free things in life. My sisters and I had a quality family time together during the sembreak.

My school's debate team joined an inter-school debate competition which is pretty popular here in Bacolod because it is aired in local tv. As a part of the team, I had the privilege to join! We competed against schools like La Salle and St. Scholastica's. It was indescribable. This kind of experience will surely be remembered even as my hair turns grey! It was definitely worth the sleepless nights. You can visit THIS to watch the whole competition.

What else can I say? Life just keeps on getting better and better. My fourth year in high school showed me what it really means to be a teenager. The drama may be pathetic at times, but teenhood is the most playful part of anyone's life.

Anyhoo, that's all for now. The next time I'll be back.. I'll be sharing with you a secret. :)

PHOTO SOURCE: http://iampaparazzi.multiply.com

I'm bringing blogging back..yeah.

Post-it note

My Sob Story

My tune: God will lift up your head by Jars Of Clay



I have a lot of things to say today. This is going to be one of my longest posts.But let me start by assuming that all of your, or most of you, my readers, may have experienced what I am going through right now. Have you ever felt the feeling that the world is against you?.. that you are carrying the weight of the universe on your shoulders?.. that your problems are stacking right on top of another? And have you ever had so many obstacles in a single day?.. had cried so many tears in a single moment?.. had felt so hopeless, so miserable that you want to ask the Heavens, "am I doomed to fail?"


Yes, yes. I sound like an Emo person right now. But I have to tell you, there is an Emo person in each of us. But I am not here to write about that.


I am here to let you know that if you have felt any of the situations and emotions I mentioned above, well honey, you're not alone. I have been in your shoes too. I have been there.

We all have those sob stories about how this life is taking its toll on us..How we tried our best yet we failed..etc. Sob stories, like movies, have different endings. Bitter or better? It is a choice.


Well, dearest reader, let me share you my sob story. [Actually I have a lot of sob stories but this one is the best..or the worst?]

I do not wish to whine or rant in re-telling my sob story. I am just hoping that somehow, you would learn something from these unexpected unfortunate events.


I stepped out of our house thinking that this day would be a pretty ordinary day. I will take the NCAE, do some schoolwork, go home, blog, text for a little while, then hit the sacks. But an ordinary day could turn 360 degrees in just a snap. Like a single matchstick could burn a 400 hectare forest, so is single moment could change the course of your life.. forever.


With a depressed heart, let me tell you the news that I lost my cellphone today. This may seem like an ordinary problem faced by another careless teenager, but believe me in my case, it is more than that.

Losing my cellphone is another addition to my bucket of problems.First, I missed quizzes due to my three day absence from class. I'm sure my class rank will flunk.Then, I spent 12 painstaking hours answering eight killer exams which made my brain deflate.I haven't yet recovered from that traumatic event and now, another problemo!

I am not feeling bad plainly because I lost a pricey 2 month old cellphone. What I shed tears for is the thought that I lost something with a sentimental value. The thing is, I am a person who becomes easily emotionally attached to a possession. My cellphone was like a sister to me. I stored valuable photos, recordings of Bible verses, favorite songs and treasured funny videos on it. We always had a Sunday night bonding routine. Whenever I am in my loner mode, it served as my companion. I loved my cellphone like Jack loves his blanket. And now, I miss it like Jack misses his blanket.


Now, I could choose how to react to this misfortune. Will I cry, regret and be depressed? or accept it and move on? With all these burdens, let me say that I am sooo tired of being tired and depressed. I am generally a pessimistic person and I am fed up of being like this. I am over letting my emotions take over me.


That's the problem people.Behind every sob story is a cloud of emotions taking over the scene. This dark cloud makes the sob story end up in a total chaos. Thus, sob stories always end up bitter. Never better.


Okay, back to what I've said. I am tired of being an Emo person towards my problems. Being a pessimist is the worst character a person can have. It gives you nothing but anxiety and tears. My latest emotional breakdown was because of my pessimism. But really, folks, if we all look in the brighter side of every dark event, we will all make it through. Let us all be Mr. and Ms. Brightside.

But enough of all these sayings and sweeping statements. I want to talk based on my experience.


Earlier, I was the same pessimist letting emotions take control of me. But a moment sparked a change for the better. I heard in the news on TV that over a 100 people are homeless right now because an enormous fire burned down their homes in Manila. Hearing that news is a life-changing moment. I realized that despite my bucket of problems, I should consider myself lucky. I mean, compared to other people's problems, mine are minor and can be dealt with.

Despite my misfortune, I am still blessed.


See? Right then and there, I decided to give up my negativity and be Ms. Brightside. Life will be simpler this way. I chose to stop carrying the weight of the universe on my shoulders and to let go.


Yes yes. Let go and let Jesus take over.


"Give to the wind your fear
Hope and be undismayed
God hears your sighs and counts your tears
God will lift up, God will lift up, lift up your head "
-God Will Lift Up Your Head by Jars of Clay



You can never be liberated from your problems if you don't entrust them to Father God.
So my dear earthlings, make the decision to turn against pessimism and let Lord God provide.
Trust Him. He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you.

OMG. My sob story is a happy ending after all.

Sad songs for myself

Dear Earthling,

If you are here in my journal to read something that'll make you happy or enthusiastic or even ecstatic, well, you are in the wrong place. If you are in high spirits right now, spare yourself from the melancholy you are about to read.

I am sad right now and so, it is rightful for me to make a sad post too. I dont know why I am sad. But come to think of it, I dont need a reason to be sad. There are a lot of things I should be happy of. But I am sad.. simply because I choose to be sad. Having a frowning face is after all, a choice.

Love lots,

The Chronicler >.<

Songs that make me sad: [emo mode]

hear the songs in my playlist at the end of the post

1. Sparks by Coldplay

Did I drive you away?

I know what you’ll say,

You say, “Oh, sing one we know,”

But I promise you this,

I’ll always look out for you,

That’s what I’ll do.

I say “oh,”

I cry “oh.”

Yeah I saw sparks,

Yeah I saw sparks,

And I saw sparks,

Yeah I saw sparks,

Sing it out.

2. One of these days by Michelle Branch

I didn't notice

But I didn't care

I tried being honest

But that lead me nowhere

I watched the station

Saw the bus pulling through

And I don't mind saying

A part of me left with you

One of these days

I won't be afraid of staying with you

I hope and I pray

Waiting to find a way back to you

Cause that's where I'm home

3. Mixtape by Butch Walker

You say hello,

inside I'm screaming I love you

You say goodnight,

in my mind I'm sleeping next to you

You drive away from my car crash of a heart

And I don't know

But you gave me the best mixtape I have

And even all the bad songs ain't so bad

I just wish there was so much more than that

About me and you

4. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

and just forget the world?

5. Boston by Augustana

She said I think I'll go to Boston

I think I'll start a new life,

I think I'll start it over,

where no one knows my name,

I think I'll go to Boston,

I think that I'm just tired

I think I need a new town,

to leave this all behind

I think I need a sunrise,

I'm tired of the sunset

You don't know me,

you don't even care, oh yeah,

She said You don't know me,

and you don't wear my chains..

6. Best I ever had by Vertical Horizon

So you sailed away

Into a grey sky morning

Now I'm here to stay

Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now

I just say your name now

But it's not so bad

You're only the best I've ever had

You don't want me back

You're just the best I've ever had

The fool said in his heart, "There is no God!"

My tune: Here with me by Mercy Me

I used to believe in fate, destiny, coincidences, chances, etc etc. But having the real Christian faith, I no longer believe in such things. He controls and knows every single detail in the lives of every earthling [inlcuding you of course]. So do not think that fate is taking over your life, or even your love life.. It's not the works of destiny,honey. It is His' works.

In relation to the previous paragraph, I say Jesus led me to visit this particular blog. It is a journal of a Filipino Atheist. The title of his blog interested me into reading his blog and knowing whats intide the mind of an atheist.I read his posts and winced throughout. Man, that dude's lost. I am sorry to state it, but I believe he is bound to go to hell for making such statements like this one:

"These people would shut their eyes to Yahweh's rape of the Virgin Mary, wife of Joseph, and rejoice that Mary bore Yahweh's bastard son... [emphasis mine] "

From:source

The blogger, who calls himself Hellcat, obviously made blasphemous remarks.I was enraged when my eyes lay upon those offensive words. Throughout his blog, he talked and freely professed his atheistic pride, bashing the autheniticity of the Bible and calling the followers of Jesus Christ idiots. As a Christian, I was almost gnashing my teeth of anger. But then I realized that it's useless to argue with a fool.

I clicked a link on his blog and eventually, I found myself in yet another illogical website. The website is called Skeptic's Annonated Bible. It is an online version of the Bible but, with comments placed by verses expressing contradictions against the Bible. Come to think of it, they were even making fun of the Word of God! Again, I shook my head of the thought of how lost and blinded from the Truth the creators of the website were. I pity them.

I clicked another linked website on his blog and found this. It contains the actual so-called Gospel of Mary [Magdalene] which was the inspiration for the imprudent novel The Da Vinci Code by the plagiarist Dan Brown. I browse through it a little bit and found the Gospel to be a total deception. There is something about it that tells me that the Gospel of Mary is not Divinely inspired and was created to mislead people.

If you want to challenge your faith, I say visit the websites I mentioned. But if you want to have a good read, spare your time from irrelevant matters and visit this sensible website.

Flashback

My tune: On Fire by Switchfoot
My Adobe PS is unavailable today so no pictures for this post.

August five is a marked day on my calendar. It is such an eventful day that it is already stamped on my memory.On that day, I almost died..but a miracle saved me.

Lets have a flashback shall we?

It was August 5, 2003. I was in 6th grade back then. I have been feeling a pain in the lower right are of my abdomen, just above my pelvic bone for 2 weeks. It was really a pain actually since it wasn't agonizing. Let's say, it was a disturbing, tingling sensation. It was a confusing kind of feeling.Every time I felt it, I thought I was just the usual feeling whenever I'm hungry or in the mood to fart [laugh with me people.haha.] I didnt know that it was a serious symptom of a serious illness.

Then as time went by, I lost my appetite.I was having fever. When I was young [and dumb] I had a theory that barfing would make a sick person feel better. I thought my theory was completely and accurately true since it worked one time.. So I forced myself to throw up every single food I ate. But it didn't make me feel better at all. It only made me look like a wasted, bulimic kid.

My parents noticed my unwell state of being and my weight loss. They decided to confine me to an infirmary.At first, I protested their decision. I hated the smell and the aura of a hospital. But they made me go to the doctor anyway.

I first stayed in the emergency room. The ER is a very depressing place to be. I was surrounded with no one else but sick and dying people. An old lady even died in the ER while I was there. It was sooo horrible!

My situation got worse that I could barely walk. They made me sit on a wheel chair and transported me to a yet another sad,sad room. Right there, I was treated like a pregnant woman.The doctor performed an ultrasonography [with the use of an ultrasound thingy] on me. After three meticulous hours, the doctor said that I had a ruptured appendicitis. It was the worst kind of appendicitis.My appendix has swollen and burst and the toxin it caused has spread all over its surrounding areas. I was in a very fatal condition. I had to be operated on ASAP.

So there,. they brought me to the operating room. Man, if the ER and the ultrasound room were like wretched places, the Operating room was the worst of them all. It was a cold, spacious room with huge bulb lights and a bed which resembled the ones used in a death sentence. Wearing nothing but a hospital gown, I lay on that miserable bed as the doctor injected the Anesthesia on my spinal column. The Anesthesia somehow was a failure since I was still awake and conscious at the beginning of the operation. I even felt the surgeon make an incision on my body! The doctor noticed my consciousness and immediately placed a mask on me. The mask was almost suffocating me. I guess It was made to be like that. I couldn't breathe in it. After two inhales and exhales, I became unconscious and almost lifeless.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the recovery room [I haven't been in so many rooms in only one day before]. Then I realized that I was very much blessed to be even alive and breathing at that moment.

**End of flashback**

My August 5-experience proved to me a lot of things. First, it proved to me the enduring, unconditional and unfailing love of our Lord Father God to his children. In the middle of that crisis, I didn't even remember to say a prayer to Him [I wasn't a true Christian at that time], yet he still blessed me with another chance at life. See? Miracles happen even to the poor in spirit.

Second, it proved to me that there will always be a first time. That day, I experienced so many firsts. First time to go under the knife.. first time to use a catheter.. first time not to take a bath in a month..etc etc etc.

It was pleasurable to recall that memory.The scar which that unfortunate event left me will always be a reminder of that fateful day.

So my fellow earthlings, let me end this post with the moral lesson of my story: People can survive without an appendix.

get that? goooooooood. ^.^

Fast Forward

My tune: The infuriating voice of Erik Santos singing on TV

The Chronicler's note: I've been pretty sick and out of order lately. No, not sick physically. Im sick "behaviourly". Oh dear, I hope I haven't conformed to this world yet.But by the way I have been doing things lately, I sadly believe I have. I dont know why but I have become a full-time irritable, attention-seeking procastinator. Basta. I am out of myself. Maybe its because of hormones or just plainly teenage angst. I.Don't.Know. One thing's for sure though, Im getting myself fixed. ["Dont worry about anything, instead pray for everything"----> Philippians4.6]


When I was young and still clueless about the goings-on of life, I always found the time to have a fast forward moment and think about the future years to come. I'd wonder who I'll end up with, what I'd look like, how rich I'll get [LOL], and of course, what I would be like when I grow up.

Yesterday, I made my stepping stone into finding the answer to that very question. I took the UPCAT .. The biggest exam I have ever taken in 15 years.

UPCAT which stands for University of the Philippines College Admission Test, is obviously the admission test to UP. UP is my dream school. [Well, besides Harvard, Oxford and Yale University that is.HAHA.So let me put it this way, UP is my realistic dream school]. Having three sisters already studying there, I have had a glimpse of what It is to be called an "iskolar ng bayan". The idea of being a UPian [<----is that what students in UP are called?] is the kind of life I want to have in the next four years of my life.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but seriously, when I go to college, I want to be away from my hometown, Bacolod City. Its not that I'm freakin' sick and tired of this City [okay, I am a little], its just that I want to start afresh. I have been studying in the same school since nursery and that makes me want to experience what it is like to be a new student too, a new face in a new town..

Here in Bacolod, I go around with a label plastered on my forehead.Wherever I go, whatever I do, as long as Im in the boundary of this City, I will always be that same labeled girl. I am like a spider hopelessly tangled in a web.I want to break free from that wretched web. I want to start a new life in a new town where nobody knows my name. So that's why I am dying to get to UP. Specifically UP Diliman. The farther from Bacolod, the better.

I can completely see myself as a UPian, taking Broadcast Communication, living a dorm life, being independent, and eating cup noodles for dinner. Heehee.

But in every story, there will always be a dream stealer. And in my story, that would be my mother.

She wants me to take up..yes, you've guessed it right.. Nursing [!!] in yet another same old same old College here in Bacolod. Like.. Duh? She says If I become a nurse, I'll go abroad and get rich fast. Man, boohoo. My view on people who take up Nursing just to have an easy way to work abroad is that they are simply ..
M-A-T-E-R-I-A-L-I-S-T-I-C. They focus their eyes only on the Dollars instead of what they really want. Hello? The road to success is not a one-way street.

Besides, nursing is too flavorless for a spicy girl like me.Hahaha.

What I want is to take up either Broadcast Communication and become a broadcaster, or take up Film and Audio-Visual and become a photographer or director.


Enough said. I will go to UP [I believe,I believe].And I will not take up Nursing.Period.

Finally.sigh.

My tune: Heard 'em say by Kanye West

For a moment, I thought I was quitting blogging. It has been two weeks since I last posted. The excitement and urge to blog has somewhat died down in those 14 days of absence. As an individual, it is in my nature to lose interest on a special thing I dearly love in due course. Blogging is that special thing. When I cant blog for a long period of time, I get disinterested all of a sudden. It's what they call "short attention span". Am I right? Well, blame it all to my faulty internet connection. But anyhway, Im glad I am not quitting blogging.There is so many drama in life worth blogging about. Here are the things that happened to me and the things I planned to do when I was not around.

• I ran in our student government for Vice-President.
  
• Leading with only 13 votes from my opponent, I prevailed victoriously.Gees, I am so happy.
• I am even happier to know that I've got the easiest, and most hectic-free position.Woohoo.Last year, I got elected as the secretary.From that experience, let me give you a piece of advice: Never ever run as a secretary.You'll only regret it.Especially if you dont have the perfect handwriting.Hahaha.
  
• My friends deserted my blog [!!].That's why nobody reads the things I put here anymore.Except for donya quixote.She's my only blogfriend I decided to link. Before I rebuilt this site, I had many links and blogfriends.But I grew tired visiting their blogs.All they do is blog about their whining and ranting.So when I reopened this blog 3 months ago, I decided not to link them again.


• I am going to link people again. But this time around, I'll only link people who have relevant blogs that wont give me a headache when I read 'em.Heehee.


• I discovered this very helpful website for people who sometimes couldnt understand the lyrics of their favorite songs [like me]. I was looking for the meaning of the lyrics of the song Champagne Supernova by Oasis and I stumbled on this site. Visit it and finally, understand.


• I gave my friendster profile a makeover. My theme is about the choice between doing good or evil. Check it out here.

• I am dying to have a haircut.Having long hair requires a lot of maintenance.High maintenance that is.I simply dont have the time and willingness to do so.Im thinking of going bald.Like Britney. [Of course, you know Im joking.]

Well thats about it.Nothing more to say. I still have a writing competition tomorrow so my post ends here.After this, I'll go bloghopping and look for blogs worth linking.^^

A less boring post tomorrow.

Good night everyone.

These are a few of my favorite things

My tune: The Valley Song by Jars of Clay

I wil be having my First Grading examinations next week so I wont be able to type long posts for the next 7 days. One thing I learned from the past month is to be always prepared for everything so the days ahead of me will be a time for preparation. Tonight I am posting a very short post but yet, such a meaningful one.

Yesterday, I went to National Bookstore. Besides drooling over their shelves of delightful reads, I noticed a book These are a few of my favorite things by Tony Burton from Make a wish Foundation. The book contains the wishes [which the foundation heartfully granted] of little kids with life-threatening diseases. Its a inspiring book which will make you realize that the simplest things are of the greatest value. So now I am also making my own list. But I wont include material things. I've come to realize that material objects are not my favorite things after all.


These are some of my favorite things:

1. Experiencing the amazing Grace of my Abba Father.
2. Seeing fluffy, colorful clouds in the skies.
3. Laughing out of nowhere because a funny memory came into mind.
4. Catching my breath while having a L.O.L moment.
5. Having a worthwhile conversation with a friend.
6. Friday nights and Saturday mornings.
7. Eating out with the oldies<---- mom and pop. :]
8. Doing something brave and new.
9. Being nocturnal with my fellow nightly species, my greatly-missed sisters.
10. Hearing a song that makes me think, sigh, and become nostalgic.
11. Videoke with my dorky girl friends.
12. Being in the backseat of our car.
13. Waking up to a rainy morning.
14. Love.
    

Gees, I had to stop myself from making a hundred-long list. I dont know why, but I just love making lists like that one. I guess that adds to my list of my favorite things too.Haha! My favortie things may seem bizarre so here are some of my reasons.

On #4. I dont know if its a health problem but everytime I laugh so hard, I run out of oxygen that I need to stop and catch my breath first before I resume laughing. But even although its like that, I love the feeling of it. Yes.Yes.Yes. I am abundant in laughing gas.

On #7.Being a sort of "only child" since all of my sisters left home for college, I have so much time spent alone with my parents. I never thought about it but my parent are cool after all. The three of us always, and I mean always, eat dinner out and so we bond more and pretty much, sooner or later, the three of us will become BFF's. Hahaha.

On # 10. I love songs that bring back memories.

On # 12. Sitting on the backseat of our car is a pleasure for me. Its an amusing thing to do to watch the buildings and people your car passes by and hearing adult conversation happening in the front seats. It is almost like for a moment, you become invisible as you sit at the backseat.

On # 13. Rainy mornings make me sleep like a baby.

Making that list was fun and inspiring.Hey, why dont you make one too? Believe me, its worthwhile.

Oh ehm gee!!

My tune: You set me free by Michelle Branch

I am feeling ecstatic right now. After one whole week of being separated from my one and only love, I am back in its arms once again. Yes, yes. My internet connection is alive and kicking. I was so lost and depressed without it. [exaggeration implied]

Anyhoo, that is not just the reason why I am feeling head over heels happy today. There are a lot of things to be happy about. First of all, I made it to my school paper. Yeah baby! I am now the official photo editor of Starlight. What I am even more happy about is the fact that I will be like a photographer more than a writer. Haha. I lurve photography better than writing and I do believe that I also work better in the first one. See, oh ehm gee!

And you know whats even better? I will be the one in charge of Starlight's website. If you have visited the website , you cant help but notice it's [ehem ehem] "plain jane " design. But wait till I get my hands on it. It will be G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.

And before I forget, let me greet you a Happy month of July. I dont know how but I have made it like a sort of custom to celebrate everytime a new month has come. The month of June was a gloomy month for me so I am looking forward for a fresh, new, and better month thats ahead of me.

Im running out of words to say so let me leave you with this oh-so-hilarious video from the movie Grease. Some of my friends and I watched this movie for our supposed to be musical play for our music class. But it was cancelled. Oh ehm gee, just watch how John Travolta dances in the video. Lol.I wonder if he could still do that in his age now? hmmm.

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PS. I changed my playlist. I'll change it monthly from now on. :]

Que sera sera [Whatever will be,will be]

My tune: Yellow by Coldplay


Have you ever loved and lost somebody? Well, yes. I have loved. And yes, I lost him. He went away with Mr. Death.

Pappy Uranayski is gone.
My Shitzu brother is dead.

And its breaking my heart knowing that I will never get to see him grow up. He died at such a tender young age. He's life was abruptly robbed away from him.

To get the gist of this tragic moment, let me tell you the story. My brother-slash-dog, Pappy, was brutally murdered by my other dog. Actually, he was not murdered. He was ruthlessly slaughtered by the monster dog. The monster dog I am talking about is my 9 year old Wire-haired Duschsand, Gambi. Its such a shame because Gambi is particularly mine [Usually, dogs in our family are owned generally by our family but I am the prime owner of Gambi.Gaah.].

My parents found Pappy's blood-smothered body in the waterway of our house. They saw Gambi with her eyes reddened and his fur wet with water [probably, water from the waterway] . My mom described Gambi as somewhat out of herself, as if the dog's on drugs or something. So there you go.. We dont need the CSI to get to the bottom of this crime. That filthy, wicked dog killed my baby.

But to tell you, its not the first time that something like this happend. Gambi has a record of killing her fellow kind. A year ago, she did the same thing with our Japanese Spitz, Barbie. It really makes me wonder how come Gambi became a criminal dog like she is right now. I was never short of giving her a belly rub, or showing her some puppy love.

I guess dogs are dogs. They dont know what they're doing.

Today was the first day of living life without Pappy. I surely missed the way he licks my smelly socks the moment I arrive from school, the way he runs like a rabbit and the way he barks with his puppy voice.

He will surely be missed and remembered forever. And the day of his death will certainly go to the record of the saddest days of my life.

Pappy Uranay H. Hajimaru

[We named him a Japanese name]

March 2007-June 2007

Where do dog souls go when they die? 'Cause I'd like to be with my dog in the After Life.

--the chronicler

If looks could kill

My tune: nothing. Just the sweet sweet silence

I just thought of doing something fun in a Sunday night so I visited myheritage.com and tried their face recognition thingy. You upload your picture and they find you a celebrity look-alike. Try it, its fun. Here's what I got.












I got Kate Winslet twice as my celebrity look alike! Seriously, I beg to disagree. I dont think I have a look alike on this planet. Hahaha. Some of the celebrities that they say I look alike are Gwen Stefani, Audrey Hepburn and Dakota Fanning. Man, they made me laugh. They're liars.
Oh well, just for laughs I guess.

Why dont you try it then comment me about who do you look like after. This is going to be fuuuun. :]

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Its my mom's birthday tomorrow. Ya'll know that since my sisters left for college, I have lived alone with my parents. I had a lot of time getting to know "the adults". I said in my earlier post that it's dreadful to live with your 'rents but now, I take my words back. True, there are moments where they kind of blow your mind and drive you crazy but its normal in a parent-teen relationship.

I used to really really dislike my mom. I actually hated her. But it's all in the past now. I love my mom, despite how loud and bossy she can be. :] Happy birthday.

Raindwops keep falling on my head

My tune: Perhaps Love from Princess Hours <3
currently chatting with mitty


My first week in school was a period of adjustment. Im having a hard time dealing with my new teachers. Actually, just one of my new teachers.. My Algebra and Physics teacher. Im unfamiliar to the way she teaches. She talks very fast and teaches in high speed as well. After discussing for a short while, she often gives a quiz. <----This is my problem. I am particularly not a fast learner when it comes to Math-related subjects. I hate to admit it but yes, I am a slow learner in those subjects. In order for me to learn the ABC's of our lesson, I need to absorb everything first. My Algeb and Physics teacher unfortunately robs me of that much needed moment in processing things into my brain. Gaah. One of these days, I'll beat her. :}

Besides whining about my new teachers, I did something brave this week--- I tried out for our school paper.

For me, it is such a big big deal. Last year, I gathered my guts and also tried out but was awkardly rejected. Dang, I so hate rejection. My ego was crushed. I even blabbed about my very first encounter with rejection in my blog last year. Here's a sneak peak. [Beware: explicit use of language. I spoke very stupid words as expressions a year ago.]

The feeling of feeling like crap

June 23, 2006

I am very happy to say that I didn't get in [school paper]. Yaay. Please congratulate me. Oh..whatever.

It feels awful pitying yourself. Yes. That is how I feel right now. I feel stupid and a useless b*tch. Excuse the attitude but that is the truth. Considering what happened today, I think this day will go to the records of the worst days ever. I can definitely remember every single detail. Our school paper head was announcing the fortunate people who will be the staff and editors of our effin school paper . She was down to the least positions and my f*ckin' name wasn't called yet. I was shaking and my hand were clammy. And the moment has come... she called my name and Sophie's and told us that she's sorry but blah blah blah (you know what happened next). Everyone stared at us with a look of pity. I faked a smile of course. I hid my emotions that my throat started to hurt. It may sound like an over reaction but i felt like collapsing to tears. My eyes wanted to shed tears so badly but I held them back. It was very hard. And no way in hell did i liked it.

My spirit was crushed and my pride was torn into pieces. I tried to put them back together by thinking that their missing out a great writer but I just felt like a liar to myself. I feel very bad. Self-pity..sh*t.

>taken from http://the-makebelieve.blogspot.com/2006_06_01_archive.html

Oh man, I was pretty angry at that time. I didn't handle rejection in a light way indeed. But at present, If ever I wouldnt get in, I wont react the way I reacted last year. Im more mature and less childish right now. I'd be a little broken hearted for a while but I'll get over it soon of course. Im just keeping my fingers crossed and my hopes high that I'd get in. I want to become a better writer, you know. And I believe our school paper can surely make me one.

Now, talking 'bout matters of the heart.. I keep on seeing my "ex-crush" on campus. Seeing him brings back some old feelings and memories. So corny. Whatever. Haaaay..

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Belated happy and a blessed birthday to my sister Angela. Hope you liked my lil gift for you.

Energy boosting prayer

My tune: Need You here by Hillsong

"He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak."

Isaiah 40:29

It has just been two days since school started and I am already tired, worn out and weak. Perhaps my body is still adjusting to the sudden change of my daily activities. I was so used to bumming around, doing nothing at home during summer that my body is now in a state of shock with the active lifestyle I now live.

When your body is weak and exhausted, it immediately affects more than just the physical aspect. My body being out of energy definitely affects my spirit. I become irritable, indifferent and passive towards school. Oh nooo! This is bad news.

I know I am not alone. You are tired too. We all need a boost of energy . When we are tired with our heavy burdens, we need to focus and come to our King up there. So I dedicate this post for my prayer to Lord Father God to give us, His stressed children, that extra boost of energy that is very much needed.

Lord Father God,

We are weary, tired and exhausted. School seems like an energy-draining place for us. It is just the second day of school and almost all of our powers are already drained. We wake up each morning with a heavy feeling. Our bodies are giving up, but with your blessing, our souls are still fighting it. Lord God, I pray with a hopeful heart that you will make our bodies and souls strong and zealous. Make us stop complaining and make us endure the stressful days that we are about to face.

Father God, now that we are seniors, there are many demanding trials in store for us. Shower us with Your undying love and grace and give us strength to prevail over the greater challenges, harder tasks and tougher duties that we will come across.

Please Lord Almighty, assist us in our difficult subjects. Make our minds awake and open during Algebra class and most especially in Physics class. Do not let us daydream, or sleep or be distracted in any way.

I also pray for all of us to make use of our time in a smart way and make our final year in high school, a well-spent and extraordinary year.

We are thankful You blessed us with less "terrorizing" teachers this school year. Please let them speak and teach slowly for the benefit of everyone.

Lord God, I ask you to please hear my prayer.Amen.

How about you? Mind sharing your prayer for this school year? I would be glad and ecstatic to read them. Thanks a million. :)

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Special greeting: Happy happy happy sweet sixteenth birthday to my once-lost-but-now-found good friend, Coxy.mwah.

Thinking Over

My tune: Remember by Allister
thanks Shiela for introducing the band to me :)



The countdown is almost over. In less than 48 hours, I am going to bid goodbye to my Junior life and say hello to Senior-ness. Its a bit funny though since my last post was all about my Junior year and how unwilling I am to move on from it..And just all of a sudden, my mind changed and Im already looking forward to the school year that's ahead of me. After much thinking and reminiscing, I guess I've made up my mind to let go, break free and move on from the previous year. I've stopped worrying whether Senior year will be as memorable as junior year. After all, I believe that senior year will be twice as great as junior year because our class is much closer and "chummier" with one another than before. You see, our class is not just a group of students crammed in a four-walled classroom. Our class is a one, big, happy family. Am I right classmates? Or shall I say.. family-mates? Hahaha. :)

I am very delighted that school is about to start in 2 days . I am becoming restless of just staying at home together with my parents and eating microwaved popcorn with them. I am sooo over my summer vacation and I really do want to be in school right now. Hard to believe but I am serious.I want to be in school.

But I am not particularly ecstatic towards the first day of school. If you have read my sidebar, which is in the right side of your monitor, you'll see that I pretty much dont like first days of school. I am not quite sure of the reason why. First days of school just give me that bizarre, inexplicable feeling which I dont really like. Plus, I can't sleep on the eve of the first day of school. Maybe, just maybe, the reason why I dont like first days of school is because I have a trauma of it. Back in elementary, my first days of school were miserable. Usually my friends were in other classes so I dont have any friends to be with during that day.I was normally left out. So..maybe that's the reason why I dont like that day.It reminds me of my tragic past.[<---Emo]

Let's have a flashback. Here is my blog post exactly one year ago. It's about my thoughts and expectations towards my first day of school of that year. Its from my old blog.

School Jitters

June 12, 2006

Unfortunately, (with a little bit of fortune) the day after tomorrow will be the first day of school. It’s the big day. And probably the loudest day of the whole school year. I can already imagine how the day will go. People here and there will be screaming excitement at the reunion with their friends and have the adrenaline rush of it all. I plan to be fashionably late and create a grand entrance to make a first impression. Is that right? Hahaha. No. Seriously. I want to be a bit late so when I arrive, I won’t be looking for my friends since everyone is already there. Yaay. I don’t want to wait, you know.


I am not that thrilled to be in school again. But I'm used to the thought that sooner or later, I will be stuck in a classroom so might as well be open to the idea. whatever. Wait, what attitude is this?? I want to be in school!!! ... and study..er.. and stay up late studying... uhm.. do assignments and be frustrated. YAAAY! Back to school..Back to school..Back to school.

taken from http://the-makebelieve.blogspot.com

[Reading that one year old post makes me realize that the way I think and write really changes as time goes by.]

At present, I dont really expect much to happen on my first day of school. True, I expect that its going to be a really loud day but I dont expect any magical thing to happen. I am just going to reunite with my friends, see the new students [and check out if they're cute], do some school stuff and go home. That's what Im going to do on that day.

For the rest of the days of the school year, I leave them all to my Lord Father God. I know, I really really know, He has soooo much extraordinary surprises in store for His senior daughter. And of course, for you too.

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Now here is something for you to think about: What do you expect from our Senior year?Leave me some comments and your answers. Thanks ya'll.

PS. To my dearest friend Nadine. I hope you'll get over that freakish guy and everything will turn out well for you. Mwah.