Raindwops keep falling on my head

My tune: Perhaps Love from Princess Hours <3
currently chatting with mitty


My first week in school was a period of adjustment. Im having a hard time dealing with my new teachers. Actually, just one of my new teachers.. My Algebra and Physics teacher. Im unfamiliar to the way she teaches. She talks very fast and teaches in high speed as well. After discussing for a short while, she often gives a quiz. <----This is my problem. I am particularly not a fast learner when it comes to Math-related subjects. I hate to admit it but yes, I am a slow learner in those subjects. In order for me to learn the ABC's of our lesson, I need to absorb everything first. My Algeb and Physics teacher unfortunately robs me of that much needed moment in processing things into my brain. Gaah. One of these days, I'll beat her. :}

Besides whining about my new teachers, I did something brave this week--- I tried out for our school paper.

For me, it is such a big big deal. Last year, I gathered my guts and also tried out but was awkardly rejected. Dang, I so hate rejection. My ego was crushed. I even blabbed about my very first encounter with rejection in my blog last year. Here's a sneak peak. [Beware: explicit use of language. I spoke very stupid words as expressions a year ago.]

The feeling of feeling like crap

June 23, 2006

I am very happy to say that I didn't get in [school paper]. Yaay. Please congratulate me. Oh..whatever.

It feels awful pitying yourself. Yes. That is how I feel right now. I feel stupid and a useless b*tch. Excuse the attitude but that is the truth. Considering what happened today, I think this day will go to the records of the worst days ever. I can definitely remember every single detail. Our school paper head was announcing the fortunate people who will be the staff and editors of our effin school paper . She was down to the least positions and my f*ckin' name wasn't called yet. I was shaking and my hand were clammy. And the moment has come... she called my name and Sophie's and told us that she's sorry but blah blah blah (you know what happened next). Everyone stared at us with a look of pity. I faked a smile of course. I hid my emotions that my throat started to hurt. It may sound like an over reaction but i felt like collapsing to tears. My eyes wanted to shed tears so badly but I held them back. It was very hard. And no way in hell did i liked it.

My spirit was crushed and my pride was torn into pieces. I tried to put them back together by thinking that their missing out a great writer but I just felt like a liar to myself. I feel very bad. Self-pity..sh*t.

>taken from http://the-makebelieve.blogspot.com/2006_06_01_archive.html

Oh man, I was pretty angry at that time. I didn't handle rejection in a light way indeed. But at present, If ever I wouldnt get in, I wont react the way I reacted last year. Im more mature and less childish right now. I'd be a little broken hearted for a while but I'll get over it soon of course. Im just keeping my fingers crossed and my hopes high that I'd get in. I want to become a better writer, you know. And I believe our school paper can surely make me one.

Now, talking 'bout matters of the heart.. I keep on seeing my "ex-crush" on campus. Seeing him brings back some old feelings and memories. So corny. Whatever. Haaaay..

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Belated happy and a blessed birthday to my sister Angela. Hope you liked my lil gift for you.