Bitter goodbye

My tune: Love alone by Caedmon's Call


Little did I know that today is the very first day in my journey to solitude.

My sisters left me today this morning. All of them are gone.

So I woke up this morning seeing my sisters getting ready to leave. I gave each of them a big hug and stared intently at their very faces for it will be long before I set my eyes upon them again. After that, I watched them leave in our family car, speeding through the concrete road en route the airport. I closed the gate behind me and looked at our empty house. The once loud and chaotic home before me has now become an empty and seemingly lifeless house. I went inside and realized that the moment I have been dreading has come. I will be living all alone.. with my parents.

I have been preparing for this moment, getting myself ready for what is to come. But yet, the idea is still very new to me. One of these days.. I will eventually live with it. Its just a matter of adjusting to the new environment.

I went straight back to bed. I was feeling rather sad. The emotions started creeping in. They've just been gone for a couple of minutes but I started to miss them already. I looked around and I saw things that reminded me of what used to be. The dvd reminded me of our late night dvd marathons, watching Princess Hours and falling in love with love. Remembering that memory caused me to recall the things we do. The times when we ate noodles and argued who'd wash the dishes.. The time when we visited the beach and got ourselves a supertan. The times when we mimicked our Japanese furbys and laughed our heads off.And just simply the times when we talk about anything and everything before we sleep.I started and ended my summer days with them.

Memories like these cause me to become emotional. I was alone and was nostalgic and the best thing to do was to be a crybaby. I wasnt sad because I was alone. I was sad because once again, the people that make me happy left. Its the feeling I hate the most. I knew from the moment I wiped away a tear from my cheek that It is going to be a bad, sad day for me. I let out a deep sigh, closed my eyes and prayed.
Tomorrow will be a better day.