Late Documentation

So I've been thinking about what I've been through over the past months. I realized that I've been "gathering life experiences in very large doses". I am almost like having an everyday overdose of life itself. Maybe its because of my constant tendency of over-thinking and over-analyzing the happennings and goings-on of my life, but you know what, in my own perspective, I can say I've been through a lot. Only I and God knows the real deal, the real score of the gist of my story.



I am such a storyteller so I've thought how much I've been missing a lot on telling and sharing my stories to the world wide web. I've been absent in the blog-o-rama for quite some time now. If only I had the time [well, I actually have all the time in the world] and the right resources to constantly jot away my stories, then I would have felt a little more helpful to the society. I've been literally begging my 'rents for a laptop this year, so hopefully next year, I'll get what I've been begging for months. And with that, I could easily make myself present in the world wide web. Jeez. I just LOOOOVE blogging, know what I mean.

So anayway, bottomline is, I just wish I'd documented more on my freshmen year in college. It could have been a good read 50 years later. Well, there's no use crying over spilt milk. There are a few months left before the 2nd sem ends. I't may be too late but I'm sure, a lot of juicy stuff are going to happen pretty soon.

xoxo,
misschrayola
[okay, just to explain myself: i've been watching too much Gossip Girl & miss chrayola is like, my pseudoname in the net from now on] :)

Making Spaghetti With Friends

I had such a very fun birthday. Few people know how emotional I become when it's my birthday. I've had a series of bad birthdays for years that I gave up even hoping to have a pure & sincere good time on my birthday. But this year, I actually did.

Thanks to the spontaneity of my friends and I, we had an awesome unplanned slumber party. Patty's aunt owns this beach house in Guimbal so we packed our bags the morning of my birthday and headed out. We were pretty loaded that day. We splurged on groceries and spur-of-the-moment shopping. Like we just bought whatever popped into our minds.Hahaha! We ended up buying too much food. So yeah, we pigged out. A LOT.

And to top it all off, we cooked our food the old style way- over uling. Later that day, we swam in the beach, made smores and Patty got drunk with vodka.

So yeah. We had endless stories about random things and people. And we did crazy stuff only the four of us could understand.

Good times, good times. The best thing about my birthday was the realization how great it is to be in college. I have all the freedom in the world, yet I am sane enough not to abuse it.

Gosh, this is the life.

PS. pictures will be posted soon.

Yes, we can.

I've just read Pres. Barack Obama's speech on election day and it almost moved me to tears. He's the most hopeful American I have ever known. It's comfortable to know that despite how upside down and chaotic America has been, with the never-ending war and financial crisis, there is a man serving like a torch of light that lifts up the trampled American spirit. I'm really happy for America. The election of Pres. Obama once again proves how history can dramatically change according to the acts, choices and decisions of the people who form it. I have high hopes that the 67 bilion American people who voted on election day acted, chose and decided wisely.

God bless America. :)

I Regret

I’m glad to tell you that I’m doing better here at home. I’m in a superficial place I used to live in. But this time, I am not that same old superficial person. Actually, I guess this is the reason why I didn’t feel like going back to Bacolod. Whenever I’m home, I tend to become my old self who lives and breathes meaningless things. But I know that I’ve grown out from that shallow surface of my personality. Like what I’ve said before, I’ve grown older while away from home.

Though I’m doing better now, I still have my “bipolar attacks”. I become depressed and dejected all of a sudden. This happens when I look back at the past sem, the five months that has gone by. I think about it a lot. I am quite a thinker. I really wanted to go away to a place where nobody knows my name and start anew with a clean slate. I got all I wanted. I lived independently. I had the privilege to start going to a Christian Church. But I know in the back of my mind that I screwed things up with wrong decisions. I’ve been making all the wrong decisions. Everything seemed perfect but I just had to be immature and make a mess out of the blessings I have.

I know I’ve hurt and stepped on a lot of feelings. I’ve been offensive with my words. I’ve been uncontrollable with my sharp tongue. I want to apologize to my victims, victims of my insensitivity.

I know I haven’t been the best student I can be this sem. I’ve absorbed all the bad vices dorm life can offer. I placed my academics next to my social life in my priority list. To my parents, I’m sorry if I seemed to just consider your efforts to send me to college a game to play and fool around with.

I know I’ve been displeasing my Father. I conform to the world and stray away from the Narrow Road intentionally. I am most unworthy of Your grace God.

I regret all the wrong decisions I’ve made. I hope it’s not too late to start making the wrong things right. Now that the sem has ended, I’ll put the erroneous past behind and look forward to what’s ahead- new semester, new classes, new classmates and well, not necessarily a new me but a better me.

I’ll be the same Charisse, minus the crooked personality. Cheer oh for meeeeh.

This Is How A College Girl Rants

[I just want to rant. I seldom rant in my blog..so here it goes.]

Oh jeez. I can't really believe it. The first semester of my college life is officially over. Everyone's home already in my dorm. No one's around here except me and a few "problematic" kids and the upperclassmen.

I am completely heartbroken and emotionally torn apart. [How pathetic. I sound so emo-ish] I'm supposed to be ecstatic that I've survived my first sem in UP but I feel the exact opposite. I've been emotionally unstable lately. One day I'm humming "Perfect Day" and the next day, I'm singing the most depressing song ever written in history. Maybe its because of my growing and ehem, maturing hormones. Or maybe because I have a slight tendency to become bipolar. No, I aint joking. Seriously. My crehazy friends and I even dubbed ourselves as "Mga Iskolar na Bipolar".

So right at this moment, I am in the lobby of our empty dorm at 3 am in the morning, depressed and in an unexplainable mood all over again. The aura of the dorm, with boxes and storage containers containing valuable things of my fellow dormers that transformed this dorm into our second home, line the corridors. Its a very depressing thing to look at. Especially when I pass by empty rooms with cleared out closets and clutter-free books.

Why am I even still here in my dorm and not at home? Blame it all to CWTS. I still have to finish our project proposal. I could have finnished it a long long time ago, but my procastination habit just starts kicking in. But I'm done with our project proposal. I've peppered it with looove.

[Okay, i just looked outside our dorm (our doors are glass,btw) and I saw this cat roaming around. Its getting freaky here. I've heard a lot of *stories* about our dorm but I've never believed them.Jeez, I dont know what to say right now.]

The truth of the matter dearest readers is, I am ultimately depressed right now because *drum roll* I don't want to go home yet. I just want to stay here, seriously. The reasons? Well, I'll keep it to myself. The only thing I want to go home to Bacolod is that I'll get to see my parents, my best friends and my 2 sisters who are also coming home from UP-Diliman.

So yeah. Thats it. I'm going home tomorrow and I don't even know what time I'll leave. My upperclassmen are inviting me to come them [they're going to Bacolod too for the Maskara Festival] but I'm not quite sure if I will. I want to travel alone. I want to travel with myself and my gigantic red luggage. Yes. Its the perfect way to reminisce and think about things. There are a looooot of things to think about. You have no freaking idea what has been happening with myself and my life here. It has been a rollercoaster. And not just a rollercoaster.. A MEGA rollercoaster. I would be flat as a pancake right now if my Father God had'nt rescued me with Divine Intervention.

Jeez, I am having verbal diarrhea right now. I seriously have to get some sleep now. But before I do, lemme show you how my room has been like in the past few days. [And Kuya Eug, you're right. I will post pictures of my room here. HAHA]







WHAT A MESS. Anyhoo, I'll be in Bacolod in less than 24 hours. Ciao.