Unpredictable

I feel speechless today. I am filled with many emotions yet I am unable to let them out and express them. My posts are usually flavored with spice but perhaps this is going to be my most flavorless blog post ever.

I believe I don't have to flavor or spice up what I should say when It is about something that is really gloomy and heartbreaking.

The unpredictability of life was proven to me when I learned that my best friend, Nadine, is transferring to another school. For you, it may be an ordinary situation. Some of your reactions may go like "So what's the big deal? She is just moving to another school in the same city!" or "Whatever.It's not like she's moving a thousand miles away!". I thought that my initial reaction would be similar to those.. But I was wrong. True, she's moving to another school in the same city. And true, she is not moving 1,000 miles away from me.

But despite having the knowledge of those facts, I cried. I cried.

I feel awful because I know I will miss her so much. Nadine is a big part of my life. It may sound a cliche but it's true. We've known each other since first grade. And over the years, I know a sisterhood has grown and flourished between the two of us. Together, we grew and matured as young adults and discovered the reality of life.

Nadine is my first true friend. I have a bad history when it comes to making and finding friends. Most of them, I don't feel the sense of belonging. But when Nadine and I became close friends, I felt I met my twin. I encountered many once-in-a-lifetime experiences with her.Some only the two of us know.

I'm so used to live and share my life with Nadine. There is just something unique in our friendship that could never be found nor felt with friendships with my other friends. Maybe it is the way how each of us affects and influences another as individuals. Nadine taught me to be brave to take risks and step out of my comfort zone.And in a way, I tamed her "wild side". Perhaps, it is also the way we develop to become better persons in each others company.Back then, we often talked about gossip, complains and teen drama stuff. But I am sure glad that we've grown and our talks became sensible. Our conversations about life, love and everything in between them are moments always remembered and cherished.

Sigh.. I am sure our graduation day will be different not having her around. She will be having all things different. A different diploma, a different shoulder to cry on, a different batch to share her last high school moments with. And I? I will certainly be thinking how sentimental and moving the biggest day of our teenhood could have been If we were together to celebrate it.

Now that she'll be in another school, I don't know if things we'll ever be the same. Change has knocked on our doorsteps and we can't do anything but let it in.