In January of last year, I experienced something I’ve been waiting for as a teenager. This particular experience is stamped on my memory, for it was that experience that made me realize how insane I become.. when the love bug bites.
By my intro, you would know that I am going to blog about that four-letter word. Yes, for the first time in my history of online journalizing, I am going to talk about matters of the heart. I guess it’ about time that I do so.
I am the kind of person who doesn’t have much knowledge about the most overused and most misunderstood word ever in the English vocabulary, love. For starters, I don’t have a love life. I don’t date. And I am not looking for a boyfriend, unlike the majority of the tween population out there. Two reasons are behind this fact. One, “strict ang parents ko.” Two, it’s a choice.
I am 16 years old. This is the age where the boyfriend mentality is at its peak. Have I not
caught this disease yet? Oh no dear. I was infected by it. In fact, I was sick of it sooooo badly, I started behaving insanely.
Do you know the most common symptom of this widespread disease?
Falling into an infatuation.
Believe me, it is deadly. It’s a killer. A major killer. I still have fresh memories of it. No, not only memories, but scars as well.
So let me share you some bits and pieces of my memories and do some story-telling here about my encounter with the fatal boyfriend mentality. I’ll reveal the details of the not-so-pleasant world of infatuation, based on experience.
When you get caught by the boyfriend mentality, you become a teenager to the fullest. I know, its sounds fun and harmless right? But believe me, being a teenager to the fullest will make you wish you were a grown up.
Okay, so I got the boyfriend mentality when I was 15. I became more of a hopeless romantic. Always daydreaming and imagining of perfect love stories that only happen in movies. My friends were infected too. So altogether, we were a bunch of desperadas.
If cancer had stages, this disease has its own too. Unfortunately, I was in the fourth stage. I was gradually falling into an infatuation. Having an infatuation is like having a crush.. to the highest, maximum level. It’s almost close to being an obsession. In my case, it was an obsession. [I used to deny it before but now that I have “moved on” from it, I can freely admit it]
It was fun and amusing for a while, but in the long run, it was a major distraction. It affected my behaviour. I started liking and loving attention. I felt that I was the center of the universe. I would make friends with guys for all the wrong reasons. I was the perfect definition of a pathetic, immature girl.
When I got close with an equally immature dude [who happens to have the girlfriend mentality, I guess] things got worse. I would text the dude 24/7 [He was the reason why I bought load anyway]! I would do anything just to be around him. I’d go wherever he went. He was constantly on my mind. When I do the dishes, when I study.. every freaking moment! It was as If he was tattooed on my brain. I started to believe that every love song was written for “us” and every little thing was a “sign” for “our” future [euw euw euw]. My days revolved around him. I’d consider it a good day if I “interacted” with him and bad if I haven’t. When the dude started showing some liking too, all hell broke loose.
Then a cure came down from Heaven.
Summer came.
Alleluia! Summer put an end to our budding love story. We didn’t get to see each other. And we grew tired of communicating. Eventually, the “feelings” disappeared. Those were gloomy summer days, by the way. Nevertheless, it was all part of the downside of having an infatuation.
Looking back at that unpleasant yet life-changing memory, I learned a lot about myself. I understood the nature of my heart. My heart is deceitful and vulnerable. It is defenseless to a cute boy’s charm and suaveness [haha] . I also grasped the fact that we teenagers simply just love the thrill that we feel every time we like someone, or when someone likes us. We love it when our hearts palpitate. In short, we love it when we’re kilig.
But I am over that stage already. I am cured of the boyfriend mentality. I have other urgent matters to deal with than those things teenagers love. Although it is normal, I refuse to become petty like most of the teen population is.
So what am I going to do now?
Hold all those kilig moments and reserve them for the right and best time. I believe that If I experience being kilig too often now, it will lose its special meaning and feeling when I meet “the one”. And I will remain boyfriend-less. When I meet “the one”, I want it to be first. First love. First kiss.. First in everything.
Love is waiting.
By my intro, you would know that I am going to blog about that four-letter word. Yes, for the first time in my history of online journalizing, I am going to talk about matters of the heart. I guess it’ about time that I do so.
I am the kind of person who doesn’t have much knowledge about the most overused and most misunderstood word ever in the English vocabulary, love. For starters, I don’t have a love life. I don’t date. And I am not looking for a boyfriend, unlike the majority of the tween population out there. Two reasons are behind this fact. One, “strict ang parents ko.” Two, it’s a choice.
I am 16 years old. This is the age where the boyfriend mentality is at its peak. Have I not
caught this disease yet? Oh no dear. I was infected by it. In fact, I was sick of it sooooo badly, I started behaving insanely.Do you know the most common symptom of this widespread disease?
Falling into an infatuation.
Believe me, it is deadly. It’s a killer. A major killer. I still have fresh memories of it. No, not only memories, but scars as well.
So let me share you some bits and pieces of my memories and do some story-telling here about my encounter with the fatal boyfriend mentality. I’ll reveal the details of the not-so-pleasant world of infatuation, based on experience.
When you get caught by the boyfriend mentality, you become a teenager to the fullest. I know, its sounds fun and harmless right? But believe me, being a teenager to the fullest will make you wish you were a grown up.
Okay, so I got the boyfriend mentality when I was 15. I became more of a hopeless romantic. Always daydreaming and imagining of perfect love stories that only happen in movies. My friends were infected too. So altogether, we were a bunch of desperadas.
If cancer had stages, this disease has its own too. Unfortunately, I was in the fourth stage. I was gradually falling into an infatuation. Having an infatuation is like having a crush.. to the highest, maximum level. It’s almost close to being an obsession. In my case, it was an obsession. [I used to deny it before but now that I have “moved on” from it, I can freely admit it]
It was fun and amusing for a while, but in the long run, it was a major distraction. It affected my behaviour. I started liking and loving attention. I felt that I was the center of the universe. I would make friends with guys for all the wrong reasons. I was the perfect definition of a pathetic, immature girl.
When I got close with an equally immature dude [who happens to have the girlfriend mentality, I guess] things got worse. I would text the dude 24/7 [He was the reason why I bought load anyway]! I would do anything just to be around him. I’d go wherever he went. He was constantly on my mind. When I do the dishes, when I study.. every freaking moment! It was as If he was tattooed on my brain. I started to believe that every love song was written for “us” and every little thing was a “sign” for “our” future [euw euw euw]. My days revolved around him. I’d consider it a good day if I “interacted” with him and bad if I haven’t. When the dude started showing some liking too, all hell broke loose.
Then a cure came down from Heaven.
Summer came.
Alleluia! Summer put an end to our budding love story. We didn’t get to see each other. And we grew tired of communicating. Eventually, the “feelings” disappeared. Those were gloomy summer days, by the way. Nevertheless, it was all part of the downside of having an infatuation.
Looking back at that unpleasant yet life-changing memory, I learned a lot about myself. I understood the nature of my heart. My heart is deceitful and vulnerable. It is defenseless to a cute boy’s charm and suaveness [haha] . I also grasped the fact that we teenagers simply just love the thrill that we feel every time we like someone, or when someone likes us. We love it when our hearts palpitate. In short, we love it when we’re kilig.
But I am over that stage already. I am cured of the boyfriend mentality. I have other urgent matters to deal with than those things teenagers love. Although it is normal, I refuse to become petty like most of the teen population is.
So what am I going to do now?
Hold all those kilig moments and reserve them for the right and best time. I believe that If I experience being kilig too often now, it will lose its special meaning and feeling when I meet “the one”. And I will remain boyfriend-less. When I meet “the one”, I want it to be first. First love. First kiss.. First in everything.
Love is waiting.
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